My Thoughts

What do i want to do in 2020? A lot of things, I want to do a lot of things Things unimaginable, things that will change something for the better First of everything, I want to go to New York I want to go to New York to see how the city moves To see new standup material and styles To see great art that moves me a certain way I think there is a lot of things going on in New York way faster than in Tokyo And i want to experience that to better what I can offer to people Go to New York Come back to Japan And just make great shit That's what I want to do And that's what I'm going to do I'm excited This was my initial writing of what I wanted to do in 2020 And I'm not going to take any of it back because it is indeed the things I want to do But I thought to my self "What do I really need to do?" What do I really need to do to better my self Only one thing Because if we have multiple I'm eventually going to forget

Recently I made a New Friend And his name is Troy, he's hilarious so if anyone is in Tokyo, you should check him out He met up with me in Shibs and we went to Cafe De Copain, it was my first time there The locomoco was the bomb We went through some exercises and then went back to analyze my old bits I can't thank him enough for what he did Giving me the basics of what I need to know in comedy like word economy and three's rule Now I understand what the base of comedy is Now I understand how unfunny my old bits were But at least now I understand And now I'm even more excited to do more comedy So Thank You

This year there was a lot of change A lot of things that i didn't expect happened this year And those changes were for the good Relationships, Career, Interests All these new things came into my life which in return helps me understand my self even more At times I was selfish, only thinking about my goals, career, and food I want to be more selfless in 2020 I want to be able to give back more especially to those people who have given to me Change is Good and Life is Good now

I know what to do Everything is clear The path thats shown makes sense Everything is a gift And i appreciate it a lot Like, I'm happy right now But, I need to solve my problems at the same time I need to see the obstacles And understand why I need to over come them I need to face the reality filled with different kinds of problems

In my life, i haven't had lots of friends There were people around me, but it was hard for me to call them a true friend But what is a true friend? I think a true friend is someone who has my back when I'm in the gutter but it also goes the other way around someone i would help and be there for them My family left me to Arizona so Yesterday I had an amazing Christmas with my Friends I went shopping for some wine, ham, and cheese went to the park and just...talked Talked about life, talked about an idea, and talked about if its actually possible to kill a person with the edge of a Tofu, inspired by the Japanese joke I met up with my friend thats 42 years old after and talked about me Whats going on in the house, what he thought watching two episodes of it He seemed really happy for me and that makes me happy! I went to the home party and met up with all my other friends and their friends for a Christmas party Everyone seemed happy, joyful, and fun

The most important thing i learned, is to do what is on your mind right now What do you really need to do right now? What do you want to do? What is your mind telling you? If you can listen within, and listen to your thoughts that whisper in your heart, Everything becomes easier keep asking your self what you want to do right now and expand from that And don't just have it in your mind, actually do it. I feel like everything is finally coming together recently I understand what im doing, what im trying to do, and what this is all about its hard to express it through words so maybe ill draw something. but im excited im excited because now i know what to do

Its weird that we all seem to fake it sometime just to act like we care it could be a conversation with your boss or it could be a conversation with your friends while you're on your phone sometimes we just dont care we are not engaged with the people that are around us...because we like our selves too much sometimes i catch my self thinking about my problems while someone is talking about something it be important or not. the worst is when i see people actively being in the conversation but its obvious they have no interest why do we do this? would it be a dick move to tell the people that we just aren't interested? I think we understand that people need time to talk to express what is on their mind and so we let them, but its just so weird when you see people with no interest about the other person keep engaging

A lot of people have come to me, even though its online and actually told me they are here for me and wishing me luck i am overwhelmed with joy i couldn't believe there are so many people out there expressing their love That makes me happy it makes me happy because it made me realize a lot of people are real out there them giving me love makes me want to give even more love to people it makes me want to work even harder it makes me want to be the best version of me I love everyone out there with genuine vibes I want to connect with more people through music, art, and comedy Thank you everyone

Who am i? Sometimes I ask this question especially living here in Tokyo There are so many people living here, with different reasoning to keep living I think i also ask this question is because i have changed so much in the past couple of years i have formed my own thoughts and values that i want to express to this society but i yet haven't found the right way to express it or maybe I'm just scared scared of how people will react to my real thoughts i think too much of how the other person is feeling But i understand that if i ignore that to an extent, I can connect with even more people and make them happy I want to make more people happy I feel like that was why i was put on this earth

Today, I bought my first ever flower for my self. It's a cocksomb and its beautiful with dark purple and blue colors. It feels like you're touching suede and animal fur combined and divided by two. I love touching it, the smell is like grass. I started working on three different artworks at the same time. It's so much easier transitioning from one to another instead of working on one the whole time. I learned how to do this from reading Kusama Yayoi sans book. I recommend it to anyone out there. I think the event is going to be quite swell. I'm looking forward to it. Went to Mcdonalds with John.